Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Place To Begin

Every story has a beginning, so I thought I would start with mine.  I am writing this blog as an outlet for the struggle I'm going through in the hopes that I can help others and help keep my sanity.

In order to understand my story, you need to know me--as much as I can share online, anyway.  Some of you know me personally, but most of you won't.  I'm five foot tall, and I know that I'm overweight.  (I'll get to that later).  I am married to the love of my life, who happens to be six foot five.  (Yes, we look like Mutt and Jeff!)  My husband is living proof that God has a sense of humor--who else would send me a soulmate that tall?  I'm generally a happy person, and most of the time I can fall asleep counting my blessings.  I'm a Christian and serve as a pianist/organist of my church, and love working with children.  I've been a teacher for the past nine years, and due to the economy, am now working as a para-professional (teacher's aide) in middle school math.

I am also struggling with one more thing:  infertility.  It seems to always be there in the background, always the elephant in the room.  I even know what's causing my infertility and we're trying to reverse it, but as with most things, it's a process.  It's a journey I didn't expect to be on, and one I'm wading through, trying to find the good in, even though there are days when it's killing me inside.

I know this is long, but I tend to be wordy--you'll live!  My infertility is caused by a condition called PCOS, or polycystic ovarian syndrome.  It means that my hormones are wacky, my cycles are irregular, I'm overweight and can't lose it easily, and in general, that my body doesn't work predictably like it should.

I'm taking medicine to help control all of this, and it's working, for the most part, but this waiting is sometimes more than I can take.  What hurts the most is that I have so few people to talk to--outside of family--and I need to vent from time to time.  So...voila', I created this blog.  I'll post about my thoughts, my worries and concerns, my joys, and my prayers.  I don't mind it if you comment, but please keep it positive--I really dislike people who say mean things.

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