Well, today is the day that I turn 33. Unlike most women, I absolutely adore my birthday. I even still celebrate my half birthday! (Although I will admit it's more because it's a heck of a lot cooler in February than in August) I got to have a family birthday party last night and am looking forward to another one with the in-laws in another couple of weeks. Since it's so hot, I'm thinking that just celebrating my birthday the entire month might be OK so that we can pick the one day the temperatures are under 90 degrees and then go to the zoo that day!
Today the hubby is taking me to the Ozark Empire Fair--compliments of the press pass we got since he works for a radio station, out to dinner where the wait staff will sing to me, and then cap off the evening with a movie at the $2.00 theatre. Call me a cheap date if you want, but I can have fun for a tiny amount of money!
The only time I wish I didn't love my birthday is when it comes to our childless state. I really would like to stay 28 until I had my first child, then age after that. Urgh. I see all of my high school and college friends/collegues on facebook sharing pictures of their families, and realize that I AM old enough to be the mom of a high schooler. Many of my high school friends were finished with their families by our ten-year reunion, and most of my college friends are on child 2-5 right now. There are many days I wish I was in their shoes. I knew I would be an older mother, since I didn't get married until four weeks before my 30th birthday, but I really thought I'd have one and maybe be expecting #2 by now.
That's really the only thing that really stinks, and God knows I think it stinks. I let Him know frequently, and try not to whine about it all the time. I can't stand whininess, so I try to not whine to Him. I do, however, repeatedly plead my case before His throne. There are days when I can see how His timing is best, but then there are many more days when I just stew about why my life (while admittedly NOT crummy) isn't filled with the joyful laughter of my own children.
But that's enough stewing today. I hope that by the time I write this post in a year I will have different things to stew about. Here are my hopes for when I turn 34:
1. I hope I'm pregnant/a new mom/in the process of becoming a foster/adoptive mom.
2. I hope I am healthy and have my PCOS under control.
3. I hope I've lost 60-80 pounds.
4. I hope both my husband and I have good full-time jobs so we can qualify for #1.
5. I hope that we can move to the community we attend church in.
6. I hope my relationship with my husband grows deeper and fuller.
7. I hope my relationship with God grows fuller and deeper as well.
8. I hope I can be more than just a "fun" aunt to my nieces and nephews, but also be a
listening ear and a Christian example for them.
9. I hope that I can say I've had a positive impact on the students I work with.
I hope...and pray...and as my brother-in-law said last night, "Dear Lord, we thank you for this year, we thank you for the birthdays we celebrate tonight, and we ask that this next year be better than the past one." I would like to add "Pleeeeeeeeesssssseeee Lord, let this next year be better--I think two years of yuckiness (and yes I know You've taught me things, and they haven't been yucky all the time, but...) has earned me a happy year. So pleeeeaaasssee, let this year be better than last." Amen. (and amen)